Thanks

National Pig-Out Day is over. A day of giving, Thanks….really? Do you believe that, in your turkey induced coma? Let me guess, you made a list, a list of all the things you SHOULD be thankful for. Or you all held hands around the table and “thanked” before stuffing your faces with more food then humanly possible to eat. And so it starts, heralding in the beginning of the consumer orgy season, known as the holidays. Today is Blackfriday, where people lined up at midnight to accost retail establishments inorder to spend less money to purchase things they don’t need, in a frenzy of over gluttonous consumption. Where they have trampled to death other “consumer ninjas” just to beat them to the sale items that fulfill their marketed desires. Fuck you, I need that bigger HD TV! Die, die, die, for I will spend to save. Hell, we built our whole economy on this concept. How well the Blackfriday sales goes, are a predictor for the holiday sales. The Holiday sales are a number one indicator of US economic stability. How freakn stupid is that?  What? Not quite the Thanks you expected? Well sorry, they sold out of that type of thanks. I guess that you just weren’t there early enough. Now your loved ones will not get the gift that will make their lives ultimately happy. What a BAD person you are.  Obviously you were not paying attention to all those email extorting how these Blackfriday deals will not last. You are Bad, Bad, Bad. You really don't care about your loved ones, do you? But wait,…. redemption is around the corner,…”CyberMonday” will arrive in the nick of time to save your butt ……YEA!

Ugg..I feel sick. Must have been too much turkey, or the stuffing and gravy. Maybe the mashed potatoes, no probably the creamed onions. Or more likely the squash coupled with the broccoli. I really don’t think it was the corn and peppers, nor the cranberry sauce.  Maybe the holiday sausage or the crab dip, cheese, pepperoni, crackers, nuts, and fried onion bloom appetizers. I can’t believe it was the pumpkin pie, apple pie, brownies, ice cream, rum balls, or lemon squares. And it definitely wasn't all that alcohol.

Look, look there on the TV set, that they now tell me is too small. It's our Coca-Cola designed Santa. A fat old guy wearing pajamas who gives candy to children that sit on his lap. Isn’t that so cute, an obese diabetic pedophile. I hate the holidays.

Oh wait, I get it. I put on the wrong glasses this morning. I put on the bad pair, now I see. Well I gotta go, behind on my holiday shopping, ya know.

Oh yea, I forgot to mention……..…Thanks.